Haunted

© Akua Allrich

 

I have sold my soul to the devil to survive

 

thus I am haunted by my own spirit

haunted by my own livelihood

by my own past

 

I live a life that requires me to be dead

the confusion that has made me is too profound

it is now

 

my system,

my order,

my existence

 

my spirit haunts me

 

for my father sold his soul to deception,

my mother’s to defeat

them both to unrighteousness

all so that mine would be saved

 

it did not work

 

I hear voices that I can not explain

I do not understand my own mind

 

dream,

reality

a collision

conflict

 

there lies no bridge no equilibrium, no center of gravity

no system enough to reveal

divulge

elucidate

clarify the course

they both fight to be free of me

 

as do I of them

 

my numerous dis-eases are the product of my haunting

 

I am haunted by the life that I should lead

 

I am haunted by the ancestors I have not learned

 

I am haunted by a past that should have been my future

 

I am haunted

I am haunted

I am haunted

 

92

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