“this muthafuka HERE…..”
I hope you enjoy this provocative post! While it is not a current issue for myself, I am certain it is still very relevant for some of you. I really hope that people form varying experiences (going through it, have never gone through it, single, in-a-relationship, married, divorced…) read and comment with your thoughts. THANX for your thoughts and love! 
peace ……
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………….. his eyes were too much for me……………..they burned a hole in my soul………….he took a piece of me with him when he left…………….and I’ll never forgive him…………..
It’s funny, because, me and the girls used to laugh at how strangely intense he was. How all the girls would throw themselves at him. We used to laugh. but….somehow……and to someplace far away…..he took a piece of me when he left……
I remember walking past that classroom, hearing the sounds of the other undergrad students in the classrooms adjacent. I stopped when I heard his voice pour into the hallway. The sound wafted up past my ears as if to remind me of the glimpse of hot cold that taunted me each time I caught him staring at me. His deep, slightly accented words played the drums of my ears, pulling and pushing me, coaxing and warning me about … that … next … footstep.
I stared at that doorway….how it stood between me and my destination. Just 1 doorway away. I stood……..still…….frozen…….Vulnerable…..missing and longing for the warmth of love I sent away……and……I took that loaded step forward thinking, “its only 2 steps, maybe 3. He might not see me. I hope he doesn’t”…….I blinked……took a deep breath, hoping that I passed the doorway without him seeing…….”Hey!” ………He seemed to be waiting for an opportunity. Any opportunity. I’m sure I could have been any other gorgeous (yes I said gorgeous, lol 
), young and silly thing to conquer…..but…..I was me. Vulnerable, beautiful, innocent, heart on my sleeves, easy loving, bright eyed…..me.
Good gracious! He was hot as lava, cold as ice. Damn! he was so slippery……….had soooo many tricks……….wasn’t really good at any of them, but……..he was good enough. He was a really bad liar………hid them in the wide open or didn’t bother hiding them at all……..but……….he was good enough. Good enough to make me shiver when he touched me, made me arch my back when he looked at me, and the kiss…………mmmmm……….just right, over every curve, in all the lines, under everything meant to block him out……….he was good enough…………just enough………just enough to make me close my eyes, throw my head back, and gasp…………eyes rolled so far back I could see the crime being committed from behind……….could see the knife carving a small piece of my heart………lungs too full of HIM to speak…………….he was just enough………………just enough to steal a bit of me and flee before I could say it…..before I could say “I love y..” …………….. just enough to lust and leave………………with a piece of me …………….forever…………..but I used to laugh at him……..at his hot cold stare, with his perfect frame and sultry smile……………HIM?…………..REALLY?…………………this muthafuka HERE!!! 
………………………
Oooooh boy! I know yall had ya heart brokededed all up at some point in your lives! Man! There’s always some cat waiting for your vulnerable moment, to pounce on your heavy heart and devour it!
Do you know him? Do you know her? If you don’t then…..you either
- have truly been blessed not to have been touched by that hot shit train
- are with “Casanova Brown” and wont admit it to yourself (cause believe honey, everybody else knows it )or
- you are the “Gypsy Lover”
………….nonetheless……..he was good enough……….to get a bunch a songs, poems and stories out of me! LOL! And so………my ode to the “Gypsy Lover”. That Muthafuka ova there! LOL!
*Press play below to hear it!*
Gypsy Lover
[audio:GypsyLover.mp3]
by Akua Allrich produced by Jermaine Mobley
Peace, love and light!
I’ll be talkin to ya ….. on the stage …. , cause it’s me…
Akua Allrich – Kyerematin
No Longer with “Casanova Brown”!!! LOL!!! But have definitely been there. The thing about it, is you always have hopes that this unbelievable high he’s got you on, that makes the long hours, days, and weeks just fly by..can last forever. You are the ONE exception that will make the MAGIC last and last. That you are missing link from all the 500 women he was with before. That you are not his next addiction. You’re too good for that.
Sitting here reminiscing, I loved the ride and I don’t regret the after burn. Im just grateful that I safely landed, healed, and remained intact for the Real Thing.
People listen to the song. I love it!! Its raw and soulful!!!
KDoula!!!! man you wrote that ride in words so perfectly! Good gracious. It is just that, A HIGH! Nuts. lol!
SMILE!!
What you smilin at Diamone?! LOL!
Nice song…Great voice Akua…well done.
As we learn from experiences we realize that emotions are not the best guides to what decisions we should make in relationships. I’m reminded of those two beautiful songs from Tracy Chapman from the CROSSROADS cd: “Be Careful of My Heart” and “This Time”. Check them out if you haven’t heard.
Peace, Blessings & Justice
Yes! Craig. Thanks bro!
Love, love, love this song!
Mavhu!! U’re the best!
“eyes rolled so far back I could see the crime being committed from behind”
GODDAYUM!! i know that’s right!!
YES! Thanx so much. but 4 real that kinda thing is an outa body experience. u’re so cool ndygo!!!
Like it. Keep doing such gud things !
ABSOLUTELY! Thanx!
Love, love, loved this read!!! I was there 5 years ago for way too long with Mr. Good Enough:) How did you know:)? Thank goodness GOD sent to me the love of my life and revealed to me in the process that my 1st and number one love(er)s are ME, MYSELF & I!
Peace and Blessings
Thats right Tamara! Gotta put ourselves first, or we are no good to anybody else. “Mr. Good enough” aint never really good enough, is he? LOL!
I am so happy you have the love of your life to walk with. It is a god-gift not to be taken for granted. Thanx sis!
You know I love Gypsy Lover! Love the song. I’ve had my heart pounded on before. I always say there is a reason for everything but I just can’t seem to understand the purpose for heart break. Lesson learned to watch out for people like that. Well, I guess it makes your more careful when it comes to choosing a partner huh? Well, still learning my lesson. Love your blogs!
Aww Toyin. Thank you so much! Really. I appreciate it. Yeah, uhmm…..the heart pain thing just seems so excessively painful to me. lol! Can’t we learn another way? I guess not. lol! I definitely learned my lesson, cause I do not like pain. If it looks like pain, smells like pain and walks like pain, I’m going to other direction!
Walk away girl!!!! Far, far, far in another direction. LOL! I don’t want it ever again.
I thoroughly enjoyed the Capitol Soul performance at Ebenezer’s. You have a absolutely beautiful voice, and are truly blessed to use it to touch so many people in an inspiring way. Wishing you the best of luck and success in your life adventure, and what ever heights you aspire to achieve.
Regarding ‘this muthafuka HERE…..’:
I have loved, and I have lost. …They say, ‘it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.’ …They say, ‘No pain, No gain’ They say… a lot of things. Sometimes I think it would have been better not to have loved. Gain? Ambition is overrated. But I keep my chin held high, ever mindful that there is always hope. Permit me to cite the Book of Job.
Peace,
Jay
You baddddddd girl!! Keep on keepin on!
DADDDDYYYYYY! LOL! Oh my god!!!! LOL! Yay! Love you daddy.